A Bed Monster and His Boy

What’s better than being a bed monster? Having the Boy be there when you turn.

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But The Boy broke the biggest rule of Bed Monster: no peeking.

Fuzzy Butt

I had a lot in my plate Friday. After a busy morning, I decided I needed to run home and eat something. And that’s when the productivity ended.

You see, as I was blending my smoothie I looked down and noticed Oliver licking his backside. And I noticed the bright magenta patch of glowing ouchiness at the base of his tail. And the world came to a screeching halt.

If you’ve ever had a male cat you’ve been warned about the dangers of urinary tract infections. How they can become serious very quickly. How they can be deadly if complications arise.

This is why I was on the floor, wrestling with my 14 pound cat so I could look at his butt.

Oddly, he was less than cooperative.

Since it was Friday afternoon, I decided to call Doctor Tiffany and have her check him out just in case. If nothing else he could get a shot for his allergies. And I could avoid a possible emergency visit over the weekend.

And it turned out fine. He got a shot for his allergies which is a probable cause for his itchy bottom (not anything near his boy bits). He got a shot for the infection he’d licked his way into. And he got his annual exam that was coming due anyway – two more shots. All of that he tolerated while sitting in my lap, doing his best imitation of a mean cat.

But, just to make sure there was no hidden issue, Doctor T wanted to probe his anal glands. She told me that even though this was all going to happen in the outside – unlike in dogs – Oliver was not going to be happy.

Indeed, unhappy is what Oli was.

I held him close and ignored the toe nails digging into my side – I guess he felt he needed traction. Oliver yelled out his objections. And Obi came to lick his brother’s face in comfort.

Then it was done.

Doctor Tiffany got out treats to reward Obi for being such a good brother. She tossed one to Oliver where he was bathing himself angrily. He ate it.

“That’s the closest you’ll ever get to him on his free will,” I said.

“Challenge accepted,” she said.

It took five treats to lure the grey kitten back into the living room and close enough that she could pet him while he ate. Glad I didn’t lose any money on that bet.

After Tiffany left, I got some work done and Kitten Thunder took a nap. By Saturday morning there was no sign of any infection, except that I can’t really call Oli Fuzzy Butt – one of his nicknames – until the five inch bald spot he created starts to grow back in.

We watched Reign and didn’t talk about how long MY wounds (five or six long scratches in my side) will take to heal.

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Oliver loves Reign.

National Bosses Day

I was late for work this morning. You see, I had immovable forces working against me.

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Oliver and Obi both wanted extra snuggle time. They claimed it was National Bosses Day and that extra time on the couch was the right way to celebrate.

I was rather comfy so I agreed.

The jury is still out on who, exactly, is the boss in this situation.

Ladies and Gentlemen…

The Beatles!

I’m a big Beatles fan. So when I saw an infographic on Pinterest the other day that said cat people are more likely to think George Harrison was the best Beatle and dog people prefer Paul McCartney? Well, it got me humming.

Then I asked my friends on Facebook what their top five songs are. I got a great variety. And I got some that I forgot were my favorite.

Here’s my top five, in no particular order, in case you’re wondering:

I Will
In My Life
Yesterday
Help
You Can Drive My Car
Blackbird
We Can Work It Out
Here Comes the Sun
Something
Paperback Writer
Hello Goodbye

What? My top five can have as many songs as I want.

As people were giving me their songs, I was treating my ears to music ala YouTube. And then I stumbled upon the tribute concert that was recorded a year after George Harrison’s death. Of course I decided to listen.

Almost immediately, a brown kitten appeared in my lap. He sat there, looking at the computer and listening intently. When they started playing Harrison’s songs Obi started to purr. And he stayed there in my lap for the entire concert.

Cats seem to prefer George Harrison too.

Conundrum

When I last posted, we were wondering what poor Obi would do about belly rubs now that the quilt is off the floor. At lunch time he had tried to talk The Boy into going into the fort with him.

That didn’t happen.

So what did the brown kitten do for his after work belly rub? Did he…

A) Do a belly flop onto the fort to collapse the whole thing?

B) Decide to get his belly rub on the quilt, now wadded up in a pile on the couch?

C) Decide that a piece of brown packing paper on the other side of the room was the proper place for belly rubbing.

D) Try really hard to find belly rubs on the basement carpet satisfying.

The answer is…E) all of the above.

Tuesday was a horrible night for Obi as he tried desperately to get a decent belly rub. None of these options worked for him. Two days later there is still no solution.

To make matters worse, he REALLY likes the fort. He plays in it all day.

Life is so hard for an abused brown kitten.

I suggested, while The Boy and Obi were trying to complete a morning belly rub today, that maybe he should just get his belly rubbed right there on the rug where it used to happen. Obi glared at me and walked away.

The Boy pointed out that Obi has never liked this rug. It was the old rug that was the belly rubbing rug.

Oh.

Poor abused brown kitten. The Boy giveth and The Girl taketh away.

Fort Folly

Not fooled by the nice weather that allowed me to drink a beer, barefooted, on the porch yesterday, I’ve been worrying about removing Obi’s cave from the end of the couch. You see, in the winter we think the cave is a blanket that should keep us warm.

Since he has started having his belly rubs on the quilt, rather than the rug, it is in serious need of a trip through the washing machine.

To ease the transition, I removed the cave at lunch time. Kitten Thunder and I then built a new fort.

Fort

This went over very well. It took a minute for Oliver to realize that he can’t walk ON the fort. We’ll see how long he remembers that. But once I put him inside, he was good.

Obi was a little reluctant to share the fort. The cave was a one cat deal. Oliver didn’t even like to be in the cave. But the fort is bigger and they learned to adapt – it has two boxes and at least a dozen toys in it, after all.

Then The Boy came home. Two kittehs met him at the door and then ran to the fort. “See what we built!”

But then there was a problem: where was the quilt for Obi’s belly rub?

Obi ran inside the fort and we heard him plunk to the floor. But The Boy is too big for the fort. At least that’s what he says…it’s not like he tried to get in or anything. The Boy is funny like that. Especially when he’s wearing work clothes.

So we’ll see what happens tonight. Will Obi go back to the rug? Will he collapse the fort so he can have his belly rubbed in the preferred location, two feet closer to the window? Stay tuned for updates.

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In other news, Friskies has a genius business plan that involves schmucks like me liking and sharing their videos for free. Kitten Thunder loves Friskies! In fact, it’s the only brand Oliver will eat – he refused from kittendom to eat the expensive brand that shall go unnamed. They should totally be the next spokescats.

Meanwhile, these are hilarious.

Stop Bugging Me

There’s a bug climbing up the wall in my office where I’m working.

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As you can see, Obi is on the case.

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He’ll get to it when he gets to it.