The whole social world is abuzz with talk of the BlogHer Conference which begins on Thursday. People are talking about what they are wearing and what newbies should know and what weird eccentricities others should expect. But, as much as it pains me, we are not going to BlogHer. And this is why:
1. Oliver and Obi are BOYS. It is not BlogHim.
2. Oliver and Obi are CATS.
3. As much as you folks seem to like it – “kitten nudists” is the number one search term for bringing readers to this blog – conferences look down on attendees parading around naked. I can’t even get Oliver to wear a necklace so clothes are probably out of the question.
4. Driving the six blocks to the airport with Oliver screaming his fool head off would fray my nerves. Flying with him all the way to San Diego would not only irritate my nerves to raw but would probably inspire the pilot to find a nice mountain to run into or a lake or something, anything, to stop the yowling.
5. Obi is too cute. Hundreds of girls oohing and aahing would be too much to bear. Not to mention he’d have to be held.
6. Obi sees no reason to open the blog to professional business practices. We have plenty of tuna, so clearly things are fine. Oliver says we could have more tuna, but couldn’t I just figure this all out with the box of light and the clicky board?
7. Twenty five pounds of fuzzy doesn’t fit comfortably in the carry on suitcase.
8. Four days is an awfully long time to go without a proper belly rubbing. We’d have to take The Boy with us. He has another trip planned.
9. Have I mentioned this tiny life issue involving two houses, a car, several roofs and checks spread all over the country with various denominations and ETAs? Crazy and crabby is NOT the first impression I’d like to give to the greater blogging world.
Next year, BlogHer, I will be there.
Kitten Thunder will stay home. Nude.