The whole social world is abuzz with talk of the BlogHer Conference which begins on Thursday. People are talking about what they are wearing and what newbies should know and what weird eccentricities others should expect. But, as much as it pains me, we are not going to BlogHer. And this is why:
1. Oliver and Obi are BOYS. It is not BlogHim.
2. Oliver and Obi are CATS.
3. As much as you folks seem to like it – “kitten nudists” is the number one search term for bringing readers to this blog – conferences look down on attendees parading around naked. I can’t even get Oliver to wear a necklace so clothes are probably out of the question.
4. Driving the six blocks to the airport with Oliver screaming his fool head off would fray my nerves. Flying with him all the way to San Diego would not only irritate my nerves to raw but would probably inspire the pilot to find a nice mountain to run into or a lake or something, anything, to stop the yowling.
5. Obi is too cute. Hundreds of girls oohing and aahing would be too much to bear. Not to mention he’d have to be held.
6. Obi sees no reason to open the blog to professional business practices. We have plenty of tuna, so clearly things are fine. Oliver says we could have more tuna, but couldn’t I just figure this all out with the box of light and the clicky board?
7. Twenty five pounds of fuzzy doesn’t fit comfortably in the carry on suitcase.
8. Four days is an awfully long time to go without a proper belly rubbing. We’d have to take The Boy with us. He has another trip planned.
9. Have I mentioned this tiny life issue involving two houses, a car, several roofs and checks spread all over the country with various denominations and ETAs? Crazy and crabby is NOT the first impression I’d like to give to the greater blogging world.
Next year, BlogHer, I will be there.
Kitten Thunder will stay home. Nude.
Kitten Thunder: Life lessons and cat tales 
haha funny! are you serious about number 3? why would anyone search for kitten nudists? i guess i was asking a stupid question, the internet is just the place to look for nude cats and chicks pooing on cups or something.sometimes i wonder how society and world peace still exists haha…
I kid you not. Someone finds this blog by searching “kitten nudists” about every other day. That, and evidently I’m the best source ever for building cat forts.
Wha… Never mind. I don’t wanna know what kind of person searches for kitten nudists.
And by specifically posting about kitten nudists, you will ensure you now get at least 2 hits per day based on that search term. (I’d worry that this was poor planning on your part, but almost nothing you do falls under the category of poor planning. What are you up to?)
Nude nude nude, nudey nudey.
The only thing that brings more readers is “Justin Bieber” or “social media marketing expert.”
Oh noes! What have I done!?!
I checked my statistics. Evidently one of my biggest draws is “fingerpaint with pudding”. Yay me!
If you already knew to do a search for “fingerpaint with pudding”, wouldn’t you already know how to do it? I mean, the search term pretty much says it all, right?
Maybe they thought there was a special trick to it? Like, how much food coloring can they put in? Or…do you water it down? Or…can Kitten Thunder safely lick your kids when they’re done? Kitten Thunder probably loves pudding.
I watched Aristocats, so I know that cat’s love to finger paint. I mean, paw paint.
*cats. And pudding must be better for cats than oil paint, which is what the Aristocats evidently used.
By the way, I just found out that Justin Bieber is soooooo second quarter 2011. We’re now all into Big Time Rush.
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