An Angry Letter to Albertsons

"Make sure I look mad. Can you Photoshop me angrier?"

Dear Albertsons Grocery Store,

In the words of The Girl: What. The. Heck?

Last week, The Girl opened a new jug of milk. I heard the glorious crack of a milk ring and ran to the kitchen to receive my new toy. The only thing I like from the kitchen more than my weekly milk ring is tuna. But did I get tuna that day? No. Did I get a milk ring? No.

Why? Because the milk ring on that jug was a solid ring and The Girl, in spite of her best efforts, could not get it off the jug. She apologized. We assumed it was because we had milk with the red cap because you were out of the milk with the blue cap. We ASSUMED life would resume its normal, wonderful course this week.

But no.

This week The Girl came back from the store with blue capped milk. All was going according to plan. I heard the crackle of the new milk being opened and ran to the kitchen. The Girl was pouting at the milk. No ring for me. Again.

I repeat: What. The. Heck?

Seriously, Albertsons, I have been a customer of yours for eight years. I haven’t held things against you in the past – like when you changed the labels on Friskies to trick The Girl into bringing home pate-style food. Gross. Or when you let The Girl buy tuna in oil without pointing out her error – she won’t let me drink tuna oil because she “doesn’t want to lubricate my insides.” Whatever that means.

But this, Albertsons, will not stand. Bring back my peel-style milk rings. Or else.

Oh, and if you’re thinking along the same lines of The Boy – a.k.a. Mr. “Oh no, he only has a 20 year supply of milk rings in the house” – well, you just ask him in the morning what that kind of attitude will get you. That’s right. I have plans for HIM.

Sincerely,
Oliver

9 responses to “An Angry Letter to Albertsons

  1. That’s appalling. I was going to suggest that you try to cut through the ring and/or the jug, but then I realized the dimensions and texture of the ring will still be all wrong. I’ll be boycotting Albertsons until they fix this.

  2. Well, I’m glad to know that I am not the only one overheard in a store saying, ‘oh, no- we buy this one becasue the cat/dachshund enjoys the packaging more’…..see, there is nothing wrong with my household.

  3. this is exactly why Dear Sweet Mama buys gatorade in little bottles — her crazy dog LOOOOVE empty bottles! And the Friskies thing totally got me, too — and I was in TROUBLE….

    • They are really trying to move that pate stuff by calling it appealing things like “flaked,” which got me. Oh, and the senior and special diet stuff – gah. Oliver will take one bite, look at me like “I thought you loved me and here you go trying to poison me” and plop down on the floor next to his full plate. Dramadramadrama.

  4. My kitties have preferred the solid ring that can be lifted off intact. If it isn’t easy, I suggest that the girl use a knife to lift it off. As for Oliver, change is difficult, but you know the basic teaching of impermanence: ‘ everything changes, nothing stays the same’. Back to the meditation cushion, Oliver, to ponder this.

    • We’ve had solid rings before from non-milk jugs. For some reason I just couldn’t get that one off – possibly because I didn’t want to risk breaking my fingernails when there was a milk ring under my toe from a previous week.

      I will fluff the meditation pillow for Oli when I get home.

  5. Pingback: Grandpeople | Kitten Thunder: Life lessons and cat tales

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