Monthly Archives: October 2011

Attack of the Bed Monster

My apologies to blog subscribers for the email earlier. Evidently, there’s no way to get videos off my phone other than to send it to Facebook. Weird.

Anyway…

The Boy turned Obi into a bed monster and left Oliver to deal with it.

Once Oli left, Obi was all alone in his monsterness.

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Why we wash tomatoes…

"Hey look, The Girl brought me little toy balls. I wonder why she put them on the table."

"Oh well, they'll work up here."

"I'll play cowboy. First, you cut a few from the herd..."

"Then you single one out."

"He might get tricky and try to escape in the valley."

"WHAT?!? I'm not doing anything."

Poor tomato, abandoned on the floor.

And this is why we wash tomatoes before we eat them.

It’s Thunder Thursday! Today I bring you Troy’s puppy, Denali. As you can see, Denali lives the ultimate Rocky Mountain dog’s life. And Troy has a warped sense of humor.

As a puppy, meeting her first horse.

Taking a dip in the trough.

"Hey dad, couldn't you find a smaller stick?"

This week: Queen of the snow hill

A letter to the governor

Dear Governor Matt Mead,

White stuff is falling from the sky. Phrases like “15 inches” and “snow day” have been used by The Boy and The Girl. My brother and I like the idea of this very much.

In case you are concerned that The Girl would waste a day off in midweek, let us assure you it would be well spent. First, The Girl has been sniffley for the last two days so we would take her back to bed for some purr therapy. Better a snow day than a sick day, right?

Second, The Girl has fallen behind on our reading. I am eager to learn whether Black Pearl escapes the Kristianos, but I can’t hold the book open myself. Plus The Girl would be mad if I skipped ahead. She always gets irritated when I move the bookmark.

Third, ever since we switched cable companies I haven’t been able to find things I like to watch on TV. The Girl always knows what I like.

Finally, Obi really struggles when he has to go a whole day without a belly rub. I would encourage The Girl to load him up on belly loving during this day.

In conclusion,  we strongly urge you to declare a snow day for State employees. And if you can, put in a word with the mayor so The Boy can stay home too. He is much better at belly rubs.

Sincerely,
Oliver Pi
Chief Executive Kitten
Thunder household

The Language Lightbulb

I talk to my cats.

This is not to say that they talk back or understand what I’m saying. But dogs are supposed to be able to recognize up to 300 words, so I figure cats can learn up to 500. Not knowing what those words are, I just talk. Besides, it would take a lot of effort to just say words at a cat. Talking is easy.

And though I don’t know what they say all the time, Kitten Thunder also talks to us. Oliver has some very recognizable phrases: “Girl,” “Breakfast,” “I’m about to toss my tuna,” “Where is everyone?” I’m sure some will be shocked that “Girl” and “Breakfast” are not the same word. Not even close. After all, I do snuggle with him as well.

We haven’t figured out Obi as well. He makes a lot of sounds, but I can’t assign a certain sound to a certain action. The closest we’ve come is his new “where is everyone?” call. It’s funny how cats will walk out of a room and forget where they left their people. Or maybe they just want me to follow them.

I know that Oliver knows certain words, like “breakfast” in human. When we feel like torturing him in the morning we’ll go through the options. “Do you want some dinner?” Blank stare. “Do you want some lunch?” Blank, edging toward irritated, stare. “Do you want a snack?” Glare. “Do you want breakfast?” YES! BREAKFAST! She puts the food on the plate!

The other evening, Oliver and I were laying on the couch. I asked him if he wanted to go to bed and he rubbed the top of his head across my lips. “Oliver,” I said again. “Do you want to go upstairs and go to bed?” Again with the hugging. But then I saw the wheels start to turn. I saw him recognize the words…upstairs…bed…

Yes, yes he did want to go to bed. That’s where all his best snuggling happens.

Closet Case

"Detective Obi will solve the case of the missing brother."

"Ah, you found me."

"The Boy said I could lay in his closet. Really."

"We hardly ever get to be in here."

"If you guys are going to be in here, I think I'll leave."

"Wait, Oliver is leaving?"

"Guess that means I can take his spot."

***

It’s Thunder Thursday! Today we see a video of a warrior kitten. Vicious warrior kitten protects the world from apples!!!

The Blind Side

"I'm tired of thinking outside the box. Tell Obi it's my turn to get in."

This evening we were downstairs. I was working on some earrings for a coworker. Kitten Thunder was, well, thundering. They zoomed around the basement at full speed. As they rounded a corner, Oliver ducked under The Boy’s workbench and Obi whizzed by. He didn’t get far before he realized he’d lost his prey.

Obi was trying to coax Oliver back out and into a run, but Oli settled under the chair. Then he raised his head and knocked a towel off the chair and over his face.

“What are you doing?” Obi wanted to know, excited.

“Who turned out the lights?” Oliver wanted to know, confused. It was Obi who saved his brother from a lifetime in the dark. He pulled the towel off his brother. Then bit him.

And they thundered on.

***

As I type, Kitten Thunder is on the bed behind me doing a small-space thunder. Move. Hold. Move. Hold. Obi will get Oli in a headlock, and lick his face. Oliver flips Obi over his head and off the bed. Oli retreats to the condo and Obi attacks imaginary bed monsters. Oliver leaps to the bed and Obi tears out of the room. Obi zooms back in and Oli flies back to the condo. I find this to be very cute. And maybe a little dangerous for me.

***

As I typed that, Oliver and Obi were wrestling, standing on their back legs. Obi went off the bed backward and hit the extra TV we have on the floor as he went down. It got and “OH! Are you okay?” out of me. He’s fine. But both boys have gone to their corners – a.k.a. they’re hiding under the bed because they think they’re in trouble.

The closet case

"It's good to stay on top of things."

I went upstairs to brush my teeth today, followed closely by Kitten Thunder. Oliver insisted he needed in The Boy’s closet. It was life or death. His whole happiness depended on it.

I didn’t open the door.

Plan B, for Oli, was the linen closet. He HAD to get in the linen closet. Life or death. Yadda yadda yadda. This time it worked. I opened the closet.

While Oliver was contemplating his strategy for jumping into the closet, Obi strolled up and leapt to the bottom shelf. He plunked down on the kitteh blanket. Oliver looked to me – from the floor – for his next move.

I lifted Oli to the second shelf. As I placed him there he tried to get on the top shelf. “You’re going to have to get down eventually; it will hurt if you jump from the top shelf,” I said to the grey kitten. He was not dissuaded. I put him on the top shelf.

With Oliver’s promotion came discontent from the bottom shelf. I moved Obi to the middle shelf where he discovered there is no kitteh blanket. I moved him back to the bottom shelf. Oliver watched from on high.

Oli looked around from his high up perspective. He contemplated the book shelves. He examined our winter blanket (which I’d forgotten and we’ll need it soon so this was five minutes well spent). He watched as Obi lost interest in the closet and left for a sunny spot on the cat shelf.

He was ready to get down.

He looked down to the floor. All the way down. Then he looked to The Girl. I held out my arms and he hopped into them, giving me a head-hug as I lowered him to the floor.

Future happiness, provided by yours truly.

"But it's also good to get to the bottom of things."