Note: This report has been dictated to The Girl by Chief Executive Kitten, Oliver. She will not be adding in her two cents.
This past month has been a hard transition for the Thunder staff. With The Girl staying home, our roles in the household have been more challenging than ever. First, my primary duty is to ensure maximum quality couch time for the people. You’d think this would be easier with The Girl doubling the amount of time she spends in the house. However, she is stubbornly refusing to go to the couch for long stretches of time.
I though we were making progress. For several days The Girl spent maximum time on the couch. My quality assurance, in fact, had her convinced to spend the night on the couch as well. Even though she insisted on coughing and sneezing – which I think is kind of disturbing – we were working steadily toward our couch time quota. Then, inexplicably, The Girl went back to insisting on long stretches of sitting in front of the box of light. She is there from breakfast time to lunch time and again from lunch time to dinner time.
I’ve adjusted my work schedule to allow for Girl supervision from the condo and snuggling in front of the box of light. Obi has also taken on additional Girl supervision duties. Plus, he has to come up with extra cute things to do because she is here so much. Luckily, The Girl doesn’t seem to get tired of the old standards: belly rubbing, playing with shadows, becoming a bed monster, etc.
In addition to our household duties, Obi and I have put some thought into The Girl’s business. We’ve tried to convey our ideas to The Girl but she seems to want to do this on her own. This afternoon while I was listing business leads she pretended not to understand me. “What?” she said. “What do you want? Does your tummy hurt?” Please. Just take the advice, or not, and move on.
All in all, it has been a successful month. I fully expect to receive our bonus, at least a can of tuna, any day now.
Reporting from in front of the box of light,