Stupid Rules

Obi has had it with his people. He is offering himself up to anyone willing to serve him without inventing a bunch of stupid rules that ruin his life.

It started last night when the brown kitten tossed his tuna in the hallway. He came by the chair to get some ear kisses from The Girl, kneaded The Boy on the couch, and went over to the loveseat to nap. Then he started coughing and gagging.

The Boy said: “Don’t toss your tuna on the furniture!”

This afternoon, I planted bulbs in the garden and brought our basil and parsley inside. I also bought some Venus flytraps to eat whatever else came inside with the pots.

The Boy and I were discussing how long it would take for the kittehs to start chewing on the plants. We have big plants so it won’t matter at all that they do – I’d already checked to make sure they were safe. Obi arrived. He jumped on the table and immediately climbed into the parsley pot.

The Girl said: “You can’t lay in the pots!”

Ten minutes later, I was cleaning the main floor bathroom. Obi came along and jumped to the back of the toilet. He used the toilet seat, covered in cleanser, as a step. “NoNoNo!” I said. I asked The Boy, who had dry hands, to remove the brown kitten.

The Boy muttered something to Obi about not needing his help to scrub toilets.

The Girl said: “No kitten paws in the chemicals.”

These are all new rules. Obi finds them ridiculous.

Is he right or is he right?

***

Last week, I took care of The Three.

Gabe was watching from the front window when I grabbed the paper. He turned his head to watch for me to go around back. I tapped on the glass to get his attention. He gave me a very definite, “stop messing around and get me my breakfast” look.

Jenny and I played with her pink ribbon. Shortly after this, she grabbed it and ran to the living room where I draped it over Gabe and they played together.

Gus wanted nothing to do with the playing. Just watching was thirsty work.

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Lookie Here

I am not photogenic. I have a chin in real life that disappears in photos. I am so pale, my skin is actually translucent – but not in that pretty way that they describe in books. And I am awesomely talented when it comes to making a stupid face or closing one eye just as the shutter clicks.

So when the Cheyenne Animal Shelter signed with Val Rothwell Photography to do our board pictures, I felt really bad for her. As I feel bad for any photographer who has to try to make me look presentable. And then we added Obi.

Val is a trooper.

Before you continue, I want you to go and look at the photos on Val Rothwell Photography. I want you to see the adorable dogs. The cute babies. The beautiful families. She captured them all.

So this is not her fault.

Will Obi look at the camera for me? For Val?

Nope.

Nuh uh.

No way.

Not gonna happen.

NopeNopeNope.

Fine. What? The Girl looks stupid?

By the way, MY eyes were open in all of these until THIS one.

I’m outta here.

This is not okay.

Ta daaaaaaa!

Despite our very best efforts, Val DID manage to get a shot about which I’m not completely mortified. Sure, Obi is in a headlock and I’m wearing a shirt for which I should lose my degree in public relations (seriously, photog101 says that pattern is a no no), but we’re looking toward the camera. Ish.

I’d tell you that you should take all your cats to Val for a portrait, but I heard her confide that every time she donates a pet portrait session to a Cheyenne Animal Shelter fundraiser she prays for a dog owner. So do that. Take your dog.

Your cat isn’t interested anyway.

Undercover Snuggling

Kitten Thunder is still loving their paper. The box has been forgotten.

There is absolutely nothing, in Obi’s mind, better than a belly rub on top of crinkly paper.

***

It was a lazy day in the Thunder house. I got up early to feed the kittehs and went back to sleep. At some point, The Boy got up and was replaced by a grey kitteh.

Eventually, I got up and made my way to the couch – I paused in the kitchen long enough to get some coffee.

Oliver came down and snuggled with me under the blanket. He is so happy about fall and the blankets coming out.

Later, The Boy – who is not good at being lazy – went on a bike ride. When he returned he rubbed the brown kitteh’s belleh. Then Obi came over to the couch. The Boy was sitting on the loveseat. Obi looked at me. He looked at The Boy. Me. Boy. Me. Boy.

“Just lay down,” I said. “The Boy knows you snuggle with me.”

Obi tiptoed down onto my shoulder. He settled down in a way that didn’t look incredibly comfortable. He did manage a purr when I scratched his back.

Eventually, The Boy left the room and went upstairs.

The brown kitteh stretched to full length and rolled on his side so I could really pet him.

Some things just aren’t meant to be witnessed.

Boxing Brothers

On Tuesday when I received my packages, Obi claimed the box. But after an afternoon of playing he was over it. Which is good because I need to mail birthday presents to my brother and nephew tomorrow.

At the end of the afternoon, though, Oliver came down from afternoon napping and sniffed the box. Obi was having none of that. He raced to the living room to stop his brother from using his box.

Shortly after that, The Boy came home and put the box upside down on the brown kitten. And the box was fun again.

There are two kittens in every one of these photos. Really.

Consolation

On Wednesday of last week, it was raining. This was Oliver’s bestest day ever. My migraine was gone by noon, but I’d already declared it a sick day. And this was pretty convenient as I Facebook for a living and September 11 is a good day not to be on Facebook for the whole day. Imagine all the touching, beautiful tributes YOU saw on your timeline and multiply it by ten…it is hard on the heart.

So we stayed on the couch and snuggled. 

And I did a little “research” on mobile device commerce. In other words, I shopped for stuff on my phone. And today, all my packages arrived.

First was a dress that I got on clearance for one of those so-low-it-would-be-a-crime-not-to-buy-it deals. I happen to be going to two formal events, two weekends in a row so I was looking for something. Yes, the events are on opposite sides of the state, but The Boy will be at both and HE will be wearing something different for me. So shouldn’t he get to see me pretty? I think so. And I mentioned that shipping and tax were almost half my purchase price, right?

 

It fits PERFECTLY, by the way. And I can still get into a dress with a full back zipper by myself – the ladies will know that this is impressive.

All of this is a long way to saying that WE HAVE NEW BOXES.

 

Obi checked it out for me. It is good. But then he went into the office with me and napped in the condo with warm, dry smell-o-vision wafting over him.

Until 5 p.m.

Until Oliver came downstairs.

As soon as the grey kitten started checking out the box, Obi was back in the living room staking his claim. I found a brown kitten in the box and a grey kitten settling for a spot in the sunbeam in the entryway.

The first sunbeam in 11 days is a pretty good consolation prize.

Man’s Work

It is still raining. You’ve probably seen on the news about Colorado, this is one of those times that I’m happy that “the other square state” isn’t getting national attention. We’re getting all the rain and much less flooding. So we’re free to send our focus, our support and our troops and firemen to our friends to the south.

But we’re sick of the rain.

While we are expecting warmer weather to return, nine days without sun has gotten us thinking about winter. A second blanket has come out so we can keep the window open at night. Kitten Thunder is back to sleeping with us all night – Obi sleeps elsewhere all summer.

And The Boy decided to take some measures to see if my office can be slightly warmer than the North Pole this winter. Kitten Thunder had been catching up on television shows we missed this week, but then they heard noises in the basement.

Man stuff.

Both kittens went down to supervise The Boy. He came up briefly for something or another and verified that is where they were. He told me he was taking the humidifier off our furnace. This could be leaking a lot of warm air that should be going upstairs.

There was clunking and banging and the sound of sawing.

Man noises.

Then I heard The Boy’s voice from directly below the couch – traveling through the ductwork. “Obi!”

I grabbed the camera in case there was something that needed to be blogged going on. Oliver met me at the bottom of the stairs to tattle. He had a big story to tell. As I turned the corner from the stairs, The Boy turned the corner from the train room.

“Obi,” he said. “Is in the furnace ducts.” The Boy was gesturing at the ceiling. “I don’t know if he can’t get out or if he just doesn’t want to.”

I strolled into the utility room. Camera forgotten. There was my brown kitten, staring at me from the furnace. “How did you get up there?” I asked Obi, he was well above eye level.

Climbed. Obviously.

I reached for him and couldn’t find anything to grab before he backed away. He came back to the opening and I reached again. He backed away. I stuck my head in, looking straight down into the dark cavern of furnace. He came back to the opening to look with me.

Maybe he did need help. He let me grab him.

The Boy needed things from Home Depot and headed off on his second trip to the store. He closed the utility door behind us as I carried the brown kitten upstairs.

Obi decided to help me with my afternoon project – knitting a scarf with pockets at the end, just in case the temperatures are still polar in my office.

Mom stuff.

Bestest. Day. EVAH.

It is raining in Cheyenne. It has been raining since Monday. They now say it will continue to rain through Saturday. In my opinion, this is far better than the ridiculous high temperatures we’ve been having. My only concern is that the people of Cheyenne are solar powered; they can not maintain their high level of friendliness when we go this long without sun.

But my solar powered ness helped lead to yesterday: the bestest. Day. Evah.

First, the blanket is back on the bed and Oliver was still tucked in under my chin, purring away, when the breakfast bell went off. He stretched and waited almost patiently while The Boy and I whined about getting up when we were oh so cozy.

While feeding the kittehs, I realized I had a migraine. I found the couch, and a fuzzy blanket. I opened the window to let the cool air in. Oliver joined me a few minutes later.

And there we stayed.

And stayed.

And stayed.

And stayed.

Obi aura snuggled for a little while, but he was also having a good day. Because there was OutTV with Smell-o-Vision. And whatever was going on outside the dining room window?

The bestest program EVAH.

Grey Photos

The Boy is cooking salmon. I want salmon.

Girl, tell The Boy to give me salmon. He says I can have some if I take it out of your share.

I’m so sleepy, Girl. Why are we at the desk? At least your scarf makes a good pillow.

Aah, the couch is much better.

Talk to the Tail

I’ve mentioned in the past that Obi’s tail has a mind of its own. This week, The Boy and I have been getting on Tail’s last nerve.

First, as I was scritching Obi’s back, Tail was trying to knock things off the coffee table. I caught the box of bandaids as it tumbled off the table and set it back up. And the brush. And a pen. Insulted, Tail asked Obi to stomp off in a huff.

Later, The Boy was brushing Obi. The Boy brushed Tail. Tail does not like to be brushed. The brown kitten got his belly brushed, but then Tail asked him to stomp off in a huff.

At lunchtime today, Obi was napping on the back of the loveseat while I was reading on the couch. The Boy came in and sat on the loveseat. “Why aren’t you snuggling with The Girl,” he asked, “after you’ve been so neglected all morning?” The Boy had already told me that the brown kitten was severely neglected – having only been belly rubbed, and brushed, and gotten and tall all morning. I told him we were hanging out in the living room together. So that was enough.

But The Boy continued to sit on the loveseat. Obi went back to sleep but Tail remained awake. And irritated. He flicked. He slapped himself down on the cushion. He twitched and slapped again.

Finally, The Boy got the hint. Or, at least, he left to go play golf.

And Tail slept.

Hawk Eyed

Oliver has a bag. This is his new favorite place to lay and a spot for which he has forsaken the post-breakfast snuggle. Once in a while Obi comes in to remind him that Tail knocked the bag off the coffee table, so Tail’s attached kitten should be allowed to lay on the bag. The grey kitten sees the reason in this…but he doesn’t get off the bag.

***

This week, we have two new programs on OutTV. First off, there is a little black kitteh wandering around. He looks pretty healthy so he obviously belongs to someone. But he is claiming a lot of territory in the neighborhood.

Yesterday, Black Kitteh had a squirrel up a light post. The squirrel was hanging out about ten feet off the ground, trash talking the kitten. Eventually the kitten gave up and walked away. Except he didn’t give up. He hid around the corner and waited for the squirrel to come down. Unfortunately for him, the squirrel (and I) was not fooled. The squirrel came down the pole and crossed the street to our house. Obi and I watched as Black Kitteh chased the squirrel from one channel of OutTV to the next and the next until they were on the Jeff Channel.

Obi doesn’t go outside but he did not want another kitten in his Out.

The more exciting programming is a sharp-shinned hawk that has moved into the neighborhood. She is very talkative and, though we hardly see her, we hear her cry all the time.

Yesterday, Obi was napping on the back of the couch while I worked. He was enjoying some Smell-O-Vision from the Jeff Channel and he was stretched out very flat. As flat, I thought, as he could get.

Until the hawk swooped down between our house and Jeff’s house and screamed just outside our window. She was so close I could hear her wings. The hair stood on the back of my neck.

And the cat? Got flatter.