Over the holidays, a particular comment seemed to be repeated over and over. Evidently, people think Kitten Thunder is spoiled. When this came up at a new year’s party, The Boy and I denied it. And now we’ll deny it again.
Why our cats are NOT spoiled:
1. They eat when WE decide to feed them. Yes, okay, having a grey kitten stomping across our chests may encourage a certain feeding time. And yes, I may have fed the cats at 1 a.m. a couple of times before going to bed in order to be allowed to sleep longer. But, ultimately, when I get up and feed the cats is totally up to me.
2. I sleep however I want. Yes, okay, 14 pound of adorable grey kitten on my feet may discourage me from rolling over in the middle of the night even when I’ve lost all sensation in my fingers. But it’s not like there’s a comfortable way to sleep anyway – seriously, why don’t we have detachable arms for sleeping?
And yes, sometimes I’m really comfortable laying with my face toward the center of the bed. But it is totally up to me when I decide to roll over. I mean yes, it is true that I usually roll over because Oliver is sitting on the edge of the bed crying and jabbing me in the back of the head. But I could ignore that. Really.
3. We rub the belly when we want. It may appear that Obi has us trained to rub his belly, on the belly rubbing rug, on demand. But the truth is that we have him trained to go to the rug before coffee, as The Boy is putting on his shoes, and whenever we come home.
4. I want a coffee mug in the middle of the bedroom floor. I prefer that my cats be well hydrated. And I like the sound of tongues lapping water in the middle of the night. I especially like it if that results in a nose dripping water on my face as a kitten returns to snuggle position. The coffee mug – that may seem like something they stole from us when it was left on a counter once – is what I’ve chosen for giving them water.
5. The cat shelf is space that isn’t useful for anything else. I mean, really, a six foot flat space in front of two sunny windows? Thank goodness we have cats so I could fill it with blankets and pillows and give the space purpose.
6. The cats only get people food when we cooking and after we’re done eating. They get NO food while we’re eating. We have boundaries.
7. We don’t buy grated cheese for Obi. We eat it too. The fact that he eats most of the bag is mere happenstance.
8. I like to wait to go to the bathroom until I can’t wait a second longer. It has nothing to do with the comfy grey kitten stretched across me on the couch. And it never has anything to do with me trying not to move and disturb a brown kitten during one of his rare inter-aura snuggles.
9. I like the look of trash strung all over the house. We’d have boxes, tissue paper, empty toilet paper rolls and milk rings all over the floor even if we didn’t have cats. In fact, it’s a wonder we don’t throw everything on the floor instead of putting so much stuff in the garbage can.
10. I am not writing this blog this late because a kitten came in and put his head on my chest, looked into my eyes, and pulled my hand to him for kittykisses. Okay, well, maybe.
Whatever. They’re worth it.