Free the Snackums

This afternoon I bought a new bag of kitty crunchies. I get the biggest bag available since we’re not going to stop serving snackums any time soon. And since Oliver feels the bowl is empty is you can see a hint of the bottom through the crunchies.

I went into the living room to rub Obi’s belly. Since Friday, the belly rub involves piling tissue paper on top of the brown kitten until I can’t see him anymore. When he’s been still as long as he can, he’ll burst from the paper in a full run.

I heard the crinkle of paper from the kitchen. I heard a heavy bag, full of snackums, inch across the floor.

Obi went to investigate.

I sat on the couch. I waited for my came home snuggle. I’d been gone for an hour, after all.

The Boy came home. He gave Obi a belly rub and stacked the tissue paper on the kitten. He looked up at the sound of a bag inching across the floor. Then thumping to the ground as Oliver finally pushed it away from the support of the bench in the breakfast nook.

“I bought a new bag of snackums,” I explained. “They smell delicious.”

The Boy went to make dinner and Obi stood up to follow. But the tissue paper did not let go. It stuck to the brown kitten’s back as he shifted left and right. At first it was fun but then the kitteh stopped enjoying the game.

He tried jumping on the couch. And down. And going under the coffee table. But the tissue paper held tight using Tail for stability.

Finally, Obi sat. He looked at his Girl, and I stopped laughing. “Come here, buddy.”

He came. I lifted the tissue off his back.

Without the distraction, we could hear Oliver in the kitchen with The Boy. He was putting up a brilliant argument, pointing out that The Boy has thumbs. And that Oli was near starvation and yes there was a full bowl of crunchies but those clearly weren’t doing the job because his ribs are just jutting right out of his sides. And this kind of handsome burns a lot of calories you know.

When I walked over to inspect the bag – quite frankly I expected to find a hole chewed in it – Oliver fixed me with a serious gaze. And he issued an order: FREE THE SNACKUMS.

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2 responses to “Free the Snackums

  1. Bwahahaha! This is awesome. Cats are such ridiculous weirdos… and so very entertaining.

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