Nothing

Nothing at all.

That’s what Oliver was doing, he says, when I heard someone jumping off the counter in the kitchen.

Why do I ask?

But what’s that behind you on the floor, kitten?

Perhaps the shrimp if left on the counter while I decided if the chicken I was eating would be enough for lunch? Yep.

And, since Kitten Thunder hates shrimp, we were both disappointed.

Advertisement

Gürl by IKEA

Okay, maybe I’m not from IKEA because I don’t require assembly. Or, maybe I’ve taken 38 years to assemble…

Regardless, I am the most comfortable and versatile piece of furniture Oliver owns. I am a heated bed and bathing platform. I am an entertainment center. A massaging chair.

So when I went away last weekend it was a problem. Then I came back and I was busy. That was a problem. And then yesterday I got up to feed him and stayed up. Problem. I was gone for a lot of the day setting up and event, attending the event and testing down the event.

Oliver doesn’t know what yesterday was, other than a problem.

So today we’d planned to be on the couch, on the couch and nothing but on the couch.

But then there was a “problem.” At our event we had a small keg of beer. After our event we still had a nearly full keg of beer. The Boy and I are problem solvers, so we brought the beer home with us and invited everyone we know over to help us drink it this afternoon. So hopefully we’ll have four or five people show up.

But when beer goes in, beer must come out. We plan on being outside, but the house needed to be cleaned for anyone in need of the facilities.

Cleaning. No couch.

Drinking beer on the porch. No couch.

Hopefully we’ll get some quality couch time in after dinner.

Otherwise, we’ll have a problem. And…probably…more beer.

Bunny Bandit

We have a ton of bunnies in the neighborhood this year. For the first time, one has started to get into our pots to eat our vegetables.

Not cool, bunny. Not cool.

I’d send the cats out after him, but it would probably go a bit like this:

Forgiven

I’ve been gone since Friday.

I’d been home for half an hour when The Boy and I decided to go out for dinner.

Oliver wanted to punish me.

But that would be punishing himself.

And he’s done nothing wrong.

The Princess is Not Amused

I’m a Tiger,
I’m a Tiger,
I’m a Tiger ’til I diiiiie…

This weekend was the Rock Springs High School reunion for the class of 1995. For various reasons, The Boy decided to stay home and do Man Stuff with Kitten Thunder. Quiet, non power tool Man Stuff with lots of belly rub breaks.

And so I was at my parents’ house and had to ruin the lives of their cats instead.

First, I took a picture of Spade.

So rude.

Then, last night, my dad and I heard a clicking sound upstairs. We looked at each other. We looked up toward the landing.

There was Gracie. Click click click. She was batting something plastic against the rail.

I did a mental inventory of things that I’d left on the bathroom counter, just a few feet behind her, for likely candidates for a toy. I decided she probably had my contact case. Probably knocked off by Spade who thinks contact solution is delicious. I decided not to worry about it as long as it stayed on the landing.

The mystery plastic item came down a couple steps. Then a couple more.

When Gracie was at the bottom step with her toy I got up to see. She performed a handy slapshot and the toy skittered across the entry way and into the hall.

She was none too pleased with me when I picked it up.

I swear I took a better picture, but this is a little plastic daisy ring. Gracie had brought it all the way out from a shelf in my bedroom. It was a lot of work just to have me take it away.

Sometimes a princess just wants a little extra sparkle.

Sometimes a Girl needs to tick off a princess to save the unsuspecting feet of the other people in the house.

She doesn’t like me anyway.

***
Happy Father’s Day to ask the dads of people out there – especially mine. And happy Dad’s Day to the men who take care of furry babies. Especially The Boy – Kitten Thunder and I couldn’t have made a better choice when we decided to adopt another human.

Nothing to See Here

I left the house today. Kitten Thunder didn’t approve.

***
The other evening, Obi and I were looking for millers through the front screen door. A beige cat appeared on our front sidewalk.

I looked down at Obi. He was interested in the other cat but not really concerned.

The cat moved down our walk toward the sidewalk. Then we heard the approach of a brother.

Uh oh.

Before I could react, Obi spun away from the door and walked nonchalantly toward his brother. He tackled Oliver and licked his face.

Nothing interesting outside. Nothing at all.

And the beige kitten disappeared down the sidewalk, out of sight by the time Oliver shook off his brother and got to the door.

Obi and I made eye contact. Close call.

Feeling a Little Kneady

J’accuse!

Alas, Kitten Thunder’s lives are ruined.

The fortress has been culled. Only two boxes, two pieces of packing paper and a packing tie remain.

Oliver and Obi think I’m a jerk.

To add to the madness, I took the mat from under their litter box and hosed it off. It’s drying in the driveway. And their litter box is in the middle of the floor. TWO FEET from where it belongs. Where’s a kitten supposed to go?

Obi and Oliver think I’m a jerk.

Also, I mopped where their litter box belongs and cleaned the walls. They’ve been carefully building the aromas in that corner. All that work, gone. Do I know how hard it is to get poop two feet above the litter box? Seriously.

Oliver and Obi think I’m a jerk.

Oliver has drifted off to sleep in a sunbeam they forgot was behind the fortress. Hmm, not so bad.

Obi just came bad from the powder room and didn’t have to pick litter out from between his toes. Hmm, not so bad.

Well, maybe I’m okay. But Obi is going to rest behind me on the couch and let Tail slap me around a little.

Tail is kind of a jerk.

My Favorite Time of Day

Breakfast is over.

Smell-o-vision is on and there’s a chill breeze coming in. Today’s program is What is Making THAT Noise? It Sounds Like a Gull Choking on a Noisemaker.

Snuggles are about to begin.

Waiting

The miller moths have finally come to Cheyenne. With all the rain I was worried they’d never get here.

And Obi loves them.

He’s waiting for them to gather around the porch light. In a while we’ll turn on the light in the entry way, turn off the porch light and open the door. We get one to five millers a night.

And then the chase is on.

Highlights of this week’s miller hunt include:

– Me holding a brown kitten over my head yelling “grab it! Grab it!”

– Me grabbing a kitten just as he leaps of the railing to try to catch the Miller on the wall. The far stairway wall. Where the stairs are waaay down. He did not approve.

– Me telling Obi I don’t want a miller in the bed.

– Me telling Obi I don’t want a miller in the bed.

– Me telling Obi I don’t want a miller in the bed.

– Me waking The Boy when I shriek about the miller flying into my nose in the middle of the night. Obi was on the headboard…putting a miller in my bed.

Ah, Miller Time. It’s the best time of the year.