Meet Flynn

Hello, peoples of the internet, Obi here. It’s been over a year since we’ve reached out. Sorry about that – The Girl and I are really busy with the small people. A lot has changed, so let’s dive right in with a new introduction.

Who are you and what do you do?

Um, hi, people…I guess. This is weird. Anyway, I’m Flynn. I’m three years old and I’ve been a Kitten Specialist here since July.

You’re an adult. Where did you spend your formative years?

Well, I was at another house. They had a dog. I don’t like dogs. So I thought about my options and decided to lodge a complaint. I did everything exactly as we’re supposed to, to the letter.

Yeah? What form of protest did you choose?

I pooped on the floor. Blatantly and often.

Classic. What happened?

They picked the dog. I did NOT see that coming.

Rough.

It’s okay. I like it here. The small people are really fun. I’d like it if The Girl would stop picking me up but at least she’s stopped walking with me. She’s a good scritcher. I like The Boy too.

He’s got enough on his plate. All his spare time belongs to me.

Got it.

So we should tell the peoples of the internet that we do have some bad news. Jack chewed the silicone straw off of one of Okay’s water bottles this spring. They were able to remove it surgically, but he evidently had a pre-existing condition with his lungs and he took a bad turn. The Girl took him back to the hospital and came back alone.

Is that why The Girl claps her hands at me and says “please don’t be stupid” when she catches me chewing on plastic bags?

Yeah, don’t do that.

I’m only chewing. I don’t eat them. I just like the crunchy feel.

Yeah, don’t do that.

So we were missing Jack and all of a sudden the people weren’t EVER leaving the house and here I was running the entire house by myself. It was getting to me. I needed a break once in a while. And then things got SO MUCH WORSE.

The whole family went out one day and brought back a tiny little monster that LOOKED like a cat but she was actually a tornado of claws and teeth and fury. I tried to be nice to her but I couldn’t even be in her line of sight without her attacking me. And she just got meaner and meaner no matter how hard I tried to be friendly.

The Girl tells me she was actually really sweet and everyone really loved her from the very start. It was just me. So I don’t know. She must have had a hard life before she got here.

After about a week, Calli – that’s what Buddy had named her – was just getting MORE crazy and violent. One day The Girl was carrying me to the bedroom to lock me in so Calli could do her shift as Kitten Specialist. But Calli was already out of her room and when she saw me she attacked. She tried to claw off The Girl’s leg to beat me with it. There was a lot of fur and blood and it’s all kind of a blur but The Girl eventually got Calli into one room and me into another.

I’ve seen The Girl’s scars from that. That was some pretty fine knifework.

Yeah. Well, The Girl realized that it wasn’t safe to keep Calli in the house when Okay or Buddy could open a door and wind up between her and me. The only reason we were even a little safe is because The Girl is tall. She cried a lot about taking Calli back to the rescue. She says she found a good home.

That explains the tension when I got here. I was glad when she stopped coming into our interviews. I mean, I’m trying to get a job and she was just hovering there, emitting…dread. NOT reassuring, lady. I think we hit it off pretty well.

We are. I mean, you’re not my brother, Oliver. I know The Girl wants me to be close to someone like that again but I just can’t. And Jack was a good guy. But he really was dumber than a box of rocks. Sweet, but man was he a lot. He always wanted to wrestle and he’d forget he was twice my size.

And he always took my good napping spots.

There are other napping spots?

You’ve got the shelf in the bedroom, the wall upstairs and The Boy’s chair – do you really need more?

Nope.

And that’s why I like you. We’ve got a good working relationship, a regular exercise routine, and you’re a quality roommate. I think things are working out fine.

Me too. Can I have more of the cat treats before dinner?

No.

So, that’s our update for now. Hopefully we’ll get into a groove and check in more often. I’m cute. Flynn’s cute. The small people are cute. Stories are bound to ensure.

Obi and Flynn, Me-out!

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THE BEASTY

Hello, peoples of the world, Obi here.

AND JACK. I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE BEASTY!

Yes, we’re going to tell you about the excitement we had the other night.

IT WAS A BEASTY!

Yes. Anywho.  It was getting close to sunset. The Girl was putting Buddy to bed (Okay was already in her room and asleep). The Boy was waiting in the next room in case she needed backup.

BUT WE NEEDED BACKUP BECAUSE I SAW THE BEASTY!

Yes. Having been relieved of our supervisory duties in the children’s rooms, I assigned Jack to patrol at the open windows and doors. I was going to take the next shift, after a little nap.

AND I SAW THE BEASTY!

Yes. I had just closed my eyes for a couple minutes and I heard Jack call out.

I SAW THE BEASTY!

Yes. I joined Jack at the patio door and called The Boy for reinforcements. Of course Jack and I could have handled it ourselves – except we’re not allowed outside.

AND IT WAS A HORRIBLE BEASTY!

Yes. The Boy came to see what we were yelling about.  He looked outside but he didn’t see.

IT WAS THE BEASTY!

Yes. He assured us there was nothing wrong.

BUT IT WAS THE BEASTY!

Yes. He said he would check it out. The Boy bravely went outside. To show he wasn’t afraid of any man or beast, he wielded the water hose and casually got things wet in several parts of the yard. Jack and I remained at the door, prepared to protect him if needed.

HE CONQUERED THE BEASTY!

Yes. There was no sign of danger by the time he came back indoors. Hey, Jack, what exactly did the beasty look like?

IT WAS COVERED IN FUR WITH A HUGE FLUFFY TAIL. THEY HANG UPSIDE DOWN TO STEAL FOOD IN THE CAFE. THE BEASTLIEST OF BEASTLY BEASTIES! AND IT WAS ALMOST NIGHT!

Ye- wait. It was a squirrel?

A BEASTY!

Hmm. Well, that’s embarrassing. Maybe I should have gotten more detail before we sounded the alarm.

THE BOY BEAT THE BEASTY! HE DIDN’T COME BACK UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING!

Yeah…let’s not tell The Boy about this. Promise not to tell, peoples of the internet?

Until next time,
Obi AND JACK, me-out!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

After setting up the tree this year, I asked my friends on Facebook to place their bets.

The bets were all about how long Squeak would allow the tree to stand. How long the ornaments would stay on. Whether he would climb it. But the only thing Squeak has done is turn the lights on (and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and on and off and…).

People forgot all about Kitten Thunder. And that this tree is for Obi.

Oliver was content to watch. And duck the halls, courtesy of a friendly toddler.

Eventually, even the tree was tired and we all took a nap.

Mirror Mirror

Mirror mirror in baby’s hands,

Upon the wall throws lighted bands.

The cat will chase them to and fro,

Though you’ve no idea where they will go.

Super Vising

Hello peoples of the internets! Obi here.

Sometimes I feel like The Boy sold me a bill of goods with Squeak. He still doesn’t Thunder with me like they said he would.

He doesn’t even know how to play with the cool toys The Girl bought for us.

But he looks to me for advice. And he is getting better.

And he’s good for snuggling… He doesn’t think he needs to hug or kiss me like The Girl does.

And at  I don’t have to do his laundry because Oliver volunteered. And The Boy finished it when my brother was done.

Hero in the Night

Hello peoples of the internet. This is Obi. I want to tell you how awesome my brother is. He’s a hero!

As you know, our Boy and Girl brought home a people-kitten a few weeks ago. Oliver and I have adjusted to the added responsibility but managing three humans is a lot of work.

Usually Squeak is with either The Boy or The Girl, but sometimes they leave him to sleep in his cage in our room. Then they lock him in by shutting the door. In the daytime, Oliver and I take turns supervising from the box in the hallway. We also supervise from this position when The Girl feeds Squeak at night.

Side note: Oliver and I have had a lot of talks about this and could someone tell him he is NOT a people? He thinks he is because The Girl fed him from a bottle, just like they feed Squeak. But I say maybe Squeak is half cat, because he eats from his mom as well – just like I did with my mom when I was a kitten. Oli doesn’t remember having a mom, other than The Girl, so maybe he’s right. 

But I don’t think so.

Anywho.

When the people are in bed, I supervise on the main floor while Oliver snuggles with The Girl to get her settled in bed. Sometimes I take the whole first shift so he can get some sleep – he’s getting kind of old and he’s been sleeping more since all those doctor appointments last fall.

Sometimes he takes his shift supervising and naps on the steps so he can hear The Girl and Squeak at the same time. That, folks, is a master supervisor.

Last night, we both happened to be supervising. And Squeak started to talk about his middle of the night snack. Then he started to cry.

This is usually when The Girl arrives. She has a tiny box she carries around that lets Squeak talk to her when they aren’t in the same room. Her ears aren’t as good as ours (seriously, people are practically deaf. How do you get by?)

Squeak cried some more

No Girl.

Squeak’s cry went from a call to a panicked howl. 

No Girl.

I asked Oliver what we could do. The door was closed so we couldn’t help our baby. The Girl’s talky box obviously wasn’t working. The fans upstairs were covering up Squeak’s cry (again, people are deaf).

He nodded to me and said “a lifetime if training is about to pay off.” Then he led me upstairs.

He jumped into bed and head-butted The Girl. Then he did it again, hard. She scritched his head and pulled him close for a snuggle without opening her eyes. He didn’t give in for a second. He pushed out of her arms and went in again. First with another head-butt. Then he put his nose on her lips and shoved his face into her mouth like a wedge. 

This move is usually reserved as the final move after hours of trying to wake The Girl for breakfast because it always works but she’s not very happy when she wakes up. Like, really not happy. But this was for our baby and there was no time to lose.

The Girl spluttered awake and glared at Oliver. But we could tell she could almost hear Squeak over the fans. Like lightning her hand flew to the talky box, which was dark and quiet.

“Oh no!” she yelled and leapt, almost cat-like I want to say, out of bed. She barely touched the floor on her way to Squeak.

It took a couple minutes for us all to calm down. I got in my up high supervising spot and Oliver stood by the chair and performed a Cat Scan on the baby while he ate. Other than raised heart rates, he said, both of the peoples were fine.

After a while, Squeak went back to sleep. But I wasn’t going anywhere. Neither was Oli. Neither was The Girl.

She thanked Oliver for his heroic deed with breakfast, then treats, then a snuggle and hundreds of kisses. Which is fine if you like that sort of thing. And he does.

I was happy with breakfast. 

I asked Oliver how he knew to go directly for the face wedge. He looked at me incredulously. “We do the wake up drill every single morning.

“You thought that was about breakfast?”

Well yes, yes did.

Maybe Oliver isn’t such a pudding head after all.

Obi out.

Test Drive

The Boy and I continue to do interesting things to entertain Kitten Thunder.

Yesterday, I was sewing. With equal parts help and supervision, of course.

Then The Boy showed up in the living room and started messing with Obi’s tall box. This box has been in the living room for a couple weeks. Obi didn’t know it opened!

For a minute, Obi wasn’t sure he liked what was happening.

He thought maybe we should go back to sewing.

But his sense of duty won out and he returned to Boy supervision.

We were quickly done with putting the pieces of the box together. It was followed by a lot of “where is the button that does this” and “how does that go in” from both people.

Obi, however, figured it out right away.

And today, Oliver discovered it’s a double decker.

Just don’t try to take either of them for a stroll.

Fabric Inspection

After dinner, there were no kittens holding me down. This led to and unexpected burst of productivity.

The Boy and I went into the baby’s room so that, as pregnant women are supposed to do, I could have him move furniture from one perfectly good location to a new location across the room.

And of course Kitten Thunder showed up to help.

There are no pictures of the ridiculous amount of under footedness that was happening because I was shouting orders for kittens to get out of the way.

After the furniture was in the right place, for now, the room looked startlingly like a person could live there in two months.

Kitten Thunder found letters on their bed to inspect.

And fabric.

They approve.

Test Drive

We might not know anything about tiny baby humans, but in this house we are well versed in large cats.

And they owe us.

So when my baby sling came in the mail, The Boy and I decided Oliver would help us try it out.

This is how he likes me to hold him, at arm’s length, so he actually really enjoyed it. Especially since I’d normally put him down when I needed to scratch my nose but I didn’t have to.

I may have gotten a size too small to hold a baby, but for a kitten… It’s purrfect.

On the Hook

What happens when The Girl spends time in the laundry room, hanging hooks on which to dry cloth diapers?

She gets help, of course.