How to Wrap Presents

Step 1. Open The Boy’s closet and encourage the kittens to take a nap inside.

Step 2. Casually walk downstairs like you’re not going to do anything interesting.

Step 3. Go ahead and turn on the camera – you know steps 1 and 2 are fruitless, right?

Step 4. Consult the brown kitten as you choose a paper.

Step 5. Ask the grey kitten about the paper when he runs the brown kitten off.

Step 6. Lay out paper to judge size according to the package being wrapped.

Step 7. Move the grey kitten off the paper, onto the shelf under the window.

 Step 8. Watch, helplessly, as the grey kitten tries to step back on the table but puts his foot on paper that does not have table underneath it. Watch him fall, slamming his chin on the table edge on his way down.

Step 9. Drop everything and scoop the grey kitten into your arms. Check for injury. Walk around the house with him in your arms for 20 minutes while his world stops spinning.

Step 10. Decide to blow of wrapping for a while.

Step 11. Return, after dinner, to wrapping.

Step 12. Allow the brown kitten to “curl” some ribbon.

***

Oliver is fine. We finished wrapping presents and snuggled up on the couch. Purr therapy works both ways.

 

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Too Rough: A Cautionary Tale

This morning, Obi and The Boy met on the belly rubbing rug for the morning belly rub. Almost immediately, the brown kitten started biting and scratching. “Ouch,” The Boy said. “Too rough!” 

Obi didn’t stop and The Boy got up and walked away.

A while later, Oliver and Obi were Thundering. They ran up. They ran down. They ran laps around the house. Just as they arrived in the living room, Obi leaped through the air and landed on Oliver. He sank his teeth into the grey kitten’s scruff and kicked with all his might. Oliver cried out because it was too hard.

Obi didn’t stop and Oliver got up and walked away. Thunder over.

Just a while after that I scooped Obi into my lap for a snuggle. He sank his teeth into my thumb and kicked and kicked and kicked. “Ouch, Obi,” I said. “Too rough!”

Obi didn’t stop and I set him down so he could walk away.

Later, Obi was walking across the living room when his brother leaped out from behind the couch. The kittens hit the floor with a thump. The grey kitten fell to the side and bunny kicked Obi with his sharp back claws. Obi cried out – it was too rough!

Oliver stopped. And walked away.

Purr Physical Therapy

I had plans for things to do tonight. But they have all been set aside because the tendons in my left hand started to burn at around 4 p.m. It is a kind of burning that isn’t helped by four hours of ice pack.

It is a kind of burning that isn’t helped by purr therapy.

Not that Kitten Thunder didn’t try.

It started with Oliver who noticed that I was laying on the couch with a blanky. He is so happy that blanket season is back. So he came and stretched over my hand – under the blanky, of course – and purred. And purred. And purred. The Boy had to bring me my dinner because there was no way we could disturb such a happy grey kitten.

When he got up I went and got the ice pack. He came back and stretched over it. His look said ice through fur feels less than comfortable.

He left and Obi stepped in. He tried to eat the ice pack. He licked my hand.

Alas, the hand still hurts. Some things aren’t as easily treated with purr therapy.

***

While I was typing this – ow, by the way – Obi came in, used my desk to access the top of the book shelf, and stole a cat toy I’d hidden up there. Like he knew it was there and was just waiting until he was in the mood to play with it.

This toy is a mouse on a string, hooked to a stick. You all know what I’m talking about. But the string is actually wire. The kind of wire that you see serial killers strangle women with on all those suspenseful TV shows and movies. You have to wonder about the person who saw one of those shows and thought, “yes! That’s perfect for cat toys!”

That’s why the toy was hidden.

He is now walking around the house with the mousie, a killer wire and stick trailing behind him. He’s made about four laps so far.

I think it is time to free the mousie.

***

It’s Thunder Thursday! Today we bring you Teva and Isabel, from Alone…With Cats fame. It is a brave woman who would have two dilute torties. But they seem to play along with her games – like wrapping them in celophane outfits.

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”

"Hate her because she left a hairball in your shoe."

***

I freed the mousie. It is no longer fun.