Tag Archives: plants

Stupid Rules

Obi has had it with his people. He is offering himself up to anyone willing to serve him without inventing a bunch of stupid rules that ruin his life.

It started last night when the brown kitten tossed his tuna in the hallway. He came by the chair to get some ear kisses from The Girl, kneaded The Boy on the couch, and went over to the loveseat to nap. Then he started coughing and gagging.

The Boy said: “Don’t toss your tuna on the furniture!”

This afternoon, I planted bulbs in the garden and brought our basil and parsley inside. I also bought some Venus flytraps to eat whatever else came inside with the pots.

The Boy and I were discussing how long it would take for the kittehs to start chewing on the plants. We have big plants so it won’t matter at all that they do – I’d already checked to make sure they were safe. Obi arrived. He jumped on the table and immediately climbed into the parsley pot.

The Girl said: “You can’t lay in the pots!”

Ten minutes later, I was cleaning the main floor bathroom. Obi came along and jumped to the back of the toilet. He used the toilet seat, covered in cleanser, as a step. “NoNoNo!” I said. I asked The Boy, who had dry hands, to remove the brown kitten.

The Boy muttered something to Obi about not needing his help to scrub toilets.

The Girl said: “No kitten paws in the chemicals.”

These are all new rules. Obi finds them ridiculous.

Is he right or is he right?

***

Last week, I took care of The Three.

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Gabe was watching from the front window when I grabbed the paper. He turned his head to watch for me to go around back. I tapped on the glass to get his attention. He gave me a very definite, “stop messing around and get me my breakfast” look.

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Jenny and I played with her pink ribbon. Shortly after this, she grabbed it and ran to the living room where I draped it over Gabe and they played together.

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Gus wanted nothing to do with the playing. Just watching was thirsty work.

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Blindsided

So I just realized something…

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I built this cool “alter” to my bearded dragon in June…over the three bearded irises that I planted with Zensai when I buried him. I wonder if they’ll still grow if I move the pots. This irritates me because irises are my favorite flower and I have never been able to grow them. Ever. Now I’m just standing in my own way.

Zensai would be amused.

***

Since we’re doing updates from other posts, the missing fortune kitty is not missing any longer. When I was sweeping the other day I really dug under a shelf and pulled out a kitten-sized minion. The fortune kitty was in the middle. Apparently Obi thought his minions needed a little bit of luck to get that life-giving lightning bolt.

kittehs

 

***

In other news, I found out – after knowing him for 11 years – that The Boy doesn’t like avocados. That means I have four to eat myself this week. Oh, the hardship. Since I couldn’t find the recipe I saw on Pinterest that inspired the purchase of avocados, I decided to make tuna salad tonight. The Boy was leaving so I had to boil my own eggs.

eggs

 

Obi walked through the kitchen once and saw me at the big white box. He put his head down and moved on.

***

And now, today’s actual story:

Oliver wanted to get up this morning. More importantly, he wanted me to get up. And Obi agreed. They were doing a full scale push of annoying things – bouncing the bathroom door, crying from the toothbrush stand, playing with the blinds, poking me in the nose. At one point I heard my glasses slide of my side table.

Here is where I tell you that I really can’t see without my glasses or contacts. And my glasses are just pink stems and the lenses with no frame. I depend on my fantastic memory to find my glasses in the morning.

So this morning I had to crawl around on my knees to find my missing eyesight. It went a little like this:

Me: Obi, where did you put my glasses?

Oli: FEED ME!

Me: I have to find my glasses.

Oli: FEED ME! I’M DYING!

Me: Oh, come on, where could they have gone?

Oli: FEED ME! SOOOOOOOO HUNGRY!

Me: [Censored because I have a personal policy about cussing online]

The Boy: Are they under the bed?

Me: How should I know? I CAN’T SEE.

The Boy: Right.

Oli: FEED ME!

Obi: I thought we were having breakfast.

Oli: FEEEEED ME!

I did finally find my glasses, an arm length (way further than I can see) under the bed, in a shadow, behind a shoe.

Seriously.