THE BEASTY

Hello, peoples of the world, Obi here.

AND JACK. I’M HERE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE BEASTY!

Yes, we’re going to tell you about the excitement we had the other night.

IT WAS A BEASTY!

Yes. Anywho.  It was getting close to sunset. The Girl was putting Buddy to bed (Okay was already in her room and asleep). The Boy was waiting in the next room in case she needed backup.

BUT WE NEEDED BACKUP BECAUSE I SAW THE BEASTY!

Yes. Having been relieved of our supervisory duties in the children’s rooms, I assigned Jack to patrol at the open windows and doors. I was going to take the next shift, after a little nap.

AND I SAW THE BEASTY!

Yes. I had just closed my eyes for a couple minutes and I heard Jack call out.

I SAW THE BEASTY!

Yes. I joined Jack at the patio door and called The Boy for reinforcements. Of course Jack and I could have handled it ourselves – except we’re not allowed outside.

AND IT WAS A HORRIBLE BEASTY!

Yes. The Boy came to see what we were yelling about.  He looked outside but he didn’t see.

IT WAS THE BEASTY!

Yes. He assured us there was nothing wrong.

BUT IT WAS THE BEASTY!

Yes. He said he would check it out. The Boy bravely went outside. To show he wasn’t afraid of any man or beast, he wielded the water hose and casually got things wet in several parts of the yard. Jack and I remained at the door, prepared to protect him if needed.

HE CONQUERED THE BEASTY!

Yes. There was no sign of danger by the time he came back indoors. Hey, Jack, what exactly did the beasty look like?

IT WAS COVERED IN FUR WITH A HUGE FLUFFY TAIL. THEY HANG UPSIDE DOWN TO STEAL FOOD IN THE CAFE. THE BEASTLIEST OF BEASTLY BEASTIES! AND IT WAS ALMOST NIGHT!

Ye- wait. It was a squirrel?

A BEASTY!

Hmm. Well, that’s embarrassing. Maybe I should have gotten more detail before we sounded the alarm.

THE BOY BEAT THE BEASTY! HE DIDN’T COME BACK UNTIL THE NEXT MORNING!

Yeah…let’s not tell The Boy about this. Promise not to tell, peoples of the internet?

Until next time,
Obi AND JACK, me-out!

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The Cats of Out

Lori, of Thunder sitting fame, has a boarder. A cat named Goblin that came to live with her while his people were in Europe. Have I mentioned that Lori is full of awesome sauce? But, tomorrow, Goblin and his people are headed to Florida on a plane.

I won’t even go into how bad I think a plane ride with a cat would be.

Lori and Goblin’s relationship started out a little rocky. He talks. A lot. She has a dog. But eventually they got used to each other and Lori taught him a whole bunch of new habits like eating junk food (I can’t remember if it was dry or canned food he didn’t eat when he got here) and going out.

A couple weeks ago, when I was in charge of Goblin sitting, I was warned about his new habit of bringing…offerings. Kristin, Lori’s roommate, mentioned that mice often showed up at Lori’s door. And, while Lori was away, Goblin had brought Kristin…well…squirrel bits. A bit here. A bit there. A bloody head at her door.

I wasn’t particularly looking forward to cleaning up bits. As it happened, I never saw Goblin that weekend. He was eating the food I left him but mostly he stayed outside enjoying the finally warm weather. A with no one to bring offerings, there were none to clean up.

Sensing, I think, that his time with Lori was drawing to an end, Goblin brought the ultimate gift this morning: a magic bunny.

She heard something under the couch and – since she is NOT a fan of squirrels – enlisted her nephew to help her. She roused him from a deep possible-only-as-a-teenager type slumber. Together, they lifted the couch and found the bunny huddled in the back corner.

Lori turned her back for just a second to keep Goblin from getting the rabbit. Her nephew never looked away. And yet, the bunny disappeared. In a blink of a bleary 18-year-old’s eye.

“Maybe he was a magic bunny.”

Unfortunately, magic bunnies get caught if they don’t magic themselves out of the house. Goblin found him in the office a little while later. No worries! Lori rescued the rabbit and set him free.

And Goblin spent the day locked inside to make sure he catches his plane tomorrow.

Bon voyage, Gobbles.

As I was contemplating this post, it reminded me of a night a couple months ago. The Boy and I were walking home from downtown. As we neared our house, we saw a big ol’ raccoon lumbering down the sidewalk. He got to the corner we were walking toward and gave us a look before disappearing down the drain in the gutter.

I’ve seen this happen before. Actually, I’ve seen this with a much bigger raccoon that kicked in the air when his belly got stuck in the drain and he had to suck in to get the rest of the way down. But on this particular night, what followed the raccoon was most interesting.

A little orange tabby was strolling behind the raccoon to make sure it left his territory. Not chasing, just quietly intimidating.

The cat walked up to the corner, looked down in the grate, then turned and strolled back from where he’d come. He paused just long enough to give us a look. “No worries, folks, the neighborhood is clear.”

Now, do you think his Girl ever wakes up to a raccoon at her bedroom door?

Sylvan for Squirrels

First, a random funny: this is what Obi would look like if you cut off all his hair and he was really, really, REALLY happy about it.

"Well hi!"

This is from http://goodmorningkitten.com which is how I like to start every day.

The other day I accused the squirrels of Cheyenne of being stupid. But that wasn’t really fair. Everyone learns differently and I shouldn’t have assumed that my squirrels would learn the same way the seller of the feeder’s squirrels learned. So on Tuesday I put a nail in the feeder to hold the lid up a little bit. Just enough that if they saw the nuts and tried to get their face in, it would lift the lid. But…would it work?

For two days I didn’t see a single squirrel. But, today as I drove up to the house at lunch, there were two squirrels working their way across the street. I knew just where they were headed. I sat in the car with bated breath.

The female squirrel was in the lead and I’m thinking she’s expecting kittens because she is OVER the male. She chased him off the porch every time he followed her up there. When he got the hint and went to get birdseed off the window sill, she set her mind to peanuts.

She approached the feeder. She tilted her head left. She tilted her head right. Then…ZOOM! She ran off the porch and up a tree to avoid the Corgi who was walking his owner down the sidewalk. I’d have been more mad, but that dog dragged his owner across my yard and into the tree before he knew what hit him. Or what he hit, rather.

And it gave me a chance to get into the house.

As I was getting out sandwich fixings, the squirrel returned. Again, she contemplated. She jumped up on top of the feeder. Grr, I thought. But then she shimmied down the side and *bloop* into the feeder went her head and out she came with a peanut. Success! Yay!

She repeated the process three times before she had to zoom off again because of two blue jays arrived to check out the porch. Obi had been watching the squirrel with half interest – my pastrami with the other half – and I suspect that the squirrel programming has been going on for two days. Blue jays, however, get him interested. Sink down low the sill, push your ears down flat, holy cow those are big birds interested.

I’m thrilled to see the jays. In the nine years I lived at my other house I only had blue jays in my yard once. My other house is one mile away. The difference in wildlife in that one mile drives me crazy.

Just for giggles, I’m going to feature a fuzzy (or scaley, Zen reminds me) from you guys each Thunder Thursday. We’ll start with my aunt’s cats, Benjy and Fred, because they’re the ones who inspired me to get Oliver a brother. Without them, there may be no thunder.

"Does this brother make me look fat?"