How to Wrap Presents

Step 1. Open The Boy’s closet and encourage the kittens to take a nap inside.

Step 2. Casually walk downstairs like you’re not going to do anything interesting.

Step 3. Go ahead and turn on the camera – you know steps 1 and 2 are fruitless, right?

Step 4. Consult the brown kitten as you choose a paper.

Step 5. Ask the grey kitten about the paper when he runs the brown kitten off.

Step 6. Lay out paper to judge size according to the package being wrapped.

Step 7. Move the grey kitten off the paper, onto the shelf under the window.

 Step 8. Watch, helplessly, as the grey kitten tries to step back on the table but puts his foot on paper that does not have table underneath it. Watch him fall, slamming his chin on the table edge on his way down.

Step 9. Drop everything and scoop the grey kitten into your arms. Check for injury. Walk around the house with him in your arms for 20 minutes while his world stops spinning.

Step 10. Decide to blow of wrapping for a while.

Step 11. Return, after dinner, to wrapping.

Step 12. Allow the brown kitten to “curl” some ribbon.

***

Oliver is fine. We finished wrapping presents and snuggled up on the couch. Purr therapy works both ways.

 

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Haters Gonna Hate

I’m done with my Christmas shopping. My final order went in about an hour ago.

Mwa ha!

***

On Saturday, Obi helped me wrap a birthday present for a little boy.

“There’s a dog on this book. I thought it was a present. Who would want a dog?”

I’ve told you this before. I also told you that we didn’t attend the birthday party full of happy five year olds because I had a headache. So the present has remained in our living room.

I set it up against the leg of the coffee table, sufficiently in the way that I will remember to take it with me on Wednesday when we see the little boy’s mother. Every morning the package is laying down in the middle of the floor. I set it back against the leg.

This evening, The Boy and I were eating dinner in the living room. Obi came in and knocked the present down. He stretched over the top of it. Then he kicked at the corner. “Obers,” The Boy said. “Stop. That’s not yours.”

Obi’s ears went flat. He stared pointedly at The Boy. He glanced at me.

Teeeeeeaaaaar.

Obi started to unwrap the present.

The Boy intervened. The present is now in his office on the bookshelf.

Where it will undoubtedly be forgotten on Wednesday.

***

We made a sale on our Zazzle store! We’re so excited. It inspired a whole bunch of new products, uploaded today. Check it out.